Jen

What's coming over me?

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 18:33:19 GMT

Why am I so into this Jen and Brad split? I've never been into the "Jen and Brad" thing before, but now I find myself clicking everything on the Yahoo main page that relates to them, and watching videos called "Celebs react to Jen and Brad split!" I don't get it. I've never given them a passing thought, other than "Brad Pitt is really hot" or "her hair looks really pretty". But now I must know what celebs think of Jen and Brad splitting up.

OK. I have to go now and see if there's any new developments.

All Hands On the Bad One

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 16:46:32 GMT

Yesterday I had a startling revelation: I am the bad child. My sister? She's the good one. Me? I'm the bad one. It's actually kind of fun being the bad one, especially since now I don't have to worry about being a brat because, well, I'm the bad one - what'd you expect?

And I have also decided that any time I meet one of my parents' friends, I will introduce myself as the bad daughter. Like, "Hi, I'm the bad daughter" or "You've probably heard of me. I'm the bad one." I think that would be fun.

Saved By the Bell!

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 22:03:35 GMT

OK, if you don't already know this, my sister lives in L.A. and has these totally random celebrity sightings, like every time she goes out for ice cream, she sees Ashley Olsen and stuff.

But THIS one is the best: Yesterday, she saw Mr. Belding. Singing kareoke. That is like, the awesomest thing ever! MR. BELDING!!!! SINGING KAREOKE!!!!

AWESOME!!!

Oh you've GOT to be kidding me.

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 17:08:49 GMT

So, I just heard Gwen Stefani's new song on the radio, and, um, it really sucks. Like monster sucks. Like she keeps saying "take a chance you stupid ho" and "whachoo waitin whachoo waitin whachoo waitin for?" over and over again. Could somebody please tell her that there's no such word as "whachoo"? I mean, it's just really bad. Whatever journalist said that her new album sounds like Peaches meets Broadway -- you are wrong. DEAD WRONG. Don't ever write anything ever again.

Who put the song....

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 01:02:50 GMT

Ummm... can I just ask WHY is a Le Tigre song advertising Telus mobility?

Also? William Hutt is a genius. I mean, if I had to share a stage with him, I would literally crap my pants.

Hi there, highschool!

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 01:28:47 GMT

OK, so.... I ran into this girl I went to highschool with today. And I say to her, "So how are you?" and she says: "Married". And I nearly choked. I didn't know what to say! I couldn't even manage to squeak out a "congratulations". It was just just.... a choke. And me going, "MARRIED!?!?! Oh. My. God." And I think it was quite clear to her how horrified I was that she was married. MARRIED!!!!

And she just proceeds to say "Oh yeah, everyone's getting married. Andrea... Alyssa..." And I'm still choking on nothing. Is this what people do in the suburbs?! Get married? I mean, I shouldn't be all that flabbergasted... i know people that are married... but hot DAMN!!!!

Me? I'm enjoying my young adulthood here. My time to be selfish and think about me and MY career and what I want to do with MY life. ME ME ME. ME ME ME ME ME.

Anyways, I try to explain away my flabberghasted-ness by saying, "oh yeah... well I'm just enjoying my life right now, y'know... I don't think I'm really the marrying kind. At least not now, anyway."

AND THEN ------- I was thrust directly into an episode of Sex and the City!

She breaks out the "You just haven't met the right guy yet. You'll find him" shpiel.
I swear -- this is from an episode! And I was Miranda-the-single-girl and she was the married lady who pitied the single girls.

And I continued with the script: "Oh, I don't know. Maybe, maybe not."
Married-lady-pitying-single-girls: "Yes... you just haven't met the right guy yet. You never know when it will happen. He could be right around the corner. You'll know when you find him."

Umm... OK. In the meantime, I'm going to go have brunch with my friends and frolic around the city and go see theatre and art shows and enjoy having very little responsibilites before I have to be a real adult.

Sounds good to me!! Yay!!!

slow day

Tue, 24 Aug 2004 23:30:51 GMT

Today I had a staring contest with a wild rabbit in my yard.

I lost.

"I do not STRUT down Madison Avenue.... Do I strut down Madison Avenue?"

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 05:00:36 GMT

Did my best Carrie Bradshaw today down at the Harbourfront, with the breeze blowing off the lake and me strutting down the little cobblestone street. And people were staring at me as I did it…. I like to think it was because I was ravishing and fabulous, but really I think it’s cause I looked weird.

Anyway, had lunch with some old friends, which took a CHUNK out of my wallet –- I tell you, I am really feeling how little money I have lately –- and did what I now consider to be the suburban Torontonian’s equivalent to buying Manolo Blahniks –- paid 20 BUCKS for parking!!!!! I mean, 20 BUCKS?!?!?!!? That’s ridiculous!!!! Then I saw some free theatre and saw more old friends, which perked up my day. The End.

SNIPERS!!!

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 03:00:06 GMT

OK, so, I went to Cleveland this weekend for the International Children’s Games opening ceremonies (because my sister was performing in it) and the president was expected to come, and the ceremonies were held in this big square in the middle of downtown Cleveland.... so –- get this -- there were SNIPERS on the roofs of all the buildings surrounding the square! SNIPERS!!!!! It was the craziest thing ever! In case you didn’t get it the first two times: SNIPERS!!!!!!!! It was like a movie. Like in Speed, when DennisHopperWithNineFingers looks out of a building at the drop point/trash bin, and he sees snipers on the buildings. That’s what it was!!! And when we were walking in the square and I reached under my sweater into my pocket, and I suddenly realized that because of this gesture, all snipers were probably now aimed at me, and if I whipped out my lip balm too suddenly, I could get shot. whoa.

Now, I didn’t actually see the president, but I really wanted to get a picture of myself with him and with me giving the thumbs-down sign. Although I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t have flown too well with the secret service. Or the snipers. But nonetheless, I kept practising ALL DAY for how I could sneak in the gesture at the last second, right as the flash went off, or do it in a way that would be clear in the picture but ambiguous to the secret service. Because yeah, I’m pretty sure I can outsmart the Secret Service by holding my thumbs-down sign a little lower to the ground. Heh heh heh. No one will notice my clever plan.

But, I didn’t see the president.

Three Cheers

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 04:06:37 GMT

OK, so I'm back. Three cheers! Go!

umm.....anyone??
guys????

OK, how 'bout just one cheer??

Please?

A simple 'whoop-whoop' will do...

OK, how about one whoop?

Anyone?

Or just a 'whoo'?

hello?

Strange Fact of the Day

Fri, 06 Jun 2003 16:31:53 GMT

There is a television program on at about 3:00 in the morning devoted entirely to the grilling of steaks.

After ~ by Cristina Baldassarra

Tue, 03 Jun 2003 20:28:28 GMT

In a dim room
streaked with shadows and curdled lines of
smoke,
She stands by a glossy piano.

You see her
only if you are looking.

Her lips bleed
a voice,
And the words hemorrhage their way
through the vessels of noise
inside you.

And sometimes you will hear her music;
when you are getting ready for bed
waiting for the streetcar
listening to your children argue

and you will contemplate
waiting for her behind the back exit door,
chasing her into the indifferent street,
limbs flapping open
with fear and love

And when you die
you will remember all the sounds
you gave up along the way,
and you will wish
for the dream of her
even in the
After.

Goosebumps

Sun, 01 Jun 2003 19:51:07 GMT

I love this kid.
(PS She's 10)

Thunderstorms

Mon, 29 Jul 2002 05:31:57 GMT

I love love LOVE thunderstorms. Especially when I am tucked safely and snuggly into bed. To wake up and the sky is a peculiar colour, thunder roars outside, and rain splashes down to feed the trees… Except that I detest having to wake up. Speaking of such, I was awakened rather early this morning -– did you know that there’s an A.M.? -– which was for my own good, but seeing as I did not get at least 8 hours of sleep, I awoke grouchy and cranky as a baby. (Which, by the way, has remained throughout the day.) To add insult to injury, I feel the beginnings of a sickness descending upon me -– the scratchy tennis ball throat, the chills, the feeling of wanting to vomit...

AND it looks like I won’t be sleeping any time tonight, either. I’ve been working all week on an essay that is due tomorrow. Yet here I sit, in the wee hours of the morning, the day it is due. Tippity-tapping the keys of the computer. Thinking of nothing but precious sleep, and perhaps some cocoa. And yet words are coming out.

Fact of the Day

Sun, 21 Jul 2002 21:02:02 GMT

Whoever invented chocolate-covered strawberries is a genius.

June 17th, 2002 ~ Shock me, Shock me, Shock me

Mon, 17 Jun 2002 20:51:10 GMT

Sorry I haven't been around much. I enjoyed some time off, just relaxing and kicking my feet up.

Tuned into a news brief this past weekend to find Justin Timberlake weeping over the demise of his relationship with Britney Spears (this is what makes the news?). Oh give me a break. He even mentioned something about crying himself to sleep at night. Yes, and I'm the Pope. Good grief, Justin, don't be such a pussy. Go and get yourself a Barbie doll and things will be back to normal. This speech, no doubt penned by his publicist to make the baby girls go "Awwww, isn't that the KEWTEST? He is soooooooo sweet!!" (when, in actuality, it makes me want to put my finger down my throat and vomit up my lunch), just HAPPENED to coincide with the announcement of his upcoming solo album. Shock me, shock me, shock me. BLAH.

June 13th, 2002 ~ And that's that.

Fri, 14 Jun 2002 03:34:37 GMT

Need I Say More?

June 12th, 2002 ~ Green makes a difference!

Thu, 13 Jun 2002 02:25:02 GMT

I have realised that I don’t know how to fail. It’s absolutely horrible, and I am consequently feeling quite panicky today and I hate that.

Pathetic fallacy ran amok today. Once my panicky feelings subsided and I returned to the realm of a somewhat normal human being, mother nature decided to throw the first gorgeous night of the season. Took the long route home through the campus and marvelled at how absolutely gorgeous it was. Green makes a difference! Will spend the remainder of the evening kicking my roommate’s ASS at nintendo.

xox

June 11th, 2002 ~ Paradiggums

Wed, 12 Jun 2002 05:02:09 GMT

Fact of the day: Did you know that the word "paradigm" is pronounced "paradime", and not "para-diggum"? I'm actually quite glad that I did not speak up in class yesterday. I would have looked quite the fool in a class of several hundred! Can you imagine? Everyone's brains working a mile a minute, and I'm discussing para-diggums.

x

June 10th, 2002 ~ New found Crush

Tue, 11 Jun 2002 16:01:25 GMT

I have developed a newfound crush on Gwen Stefani. It's too bad that:

a) I'm not a lesbian
b) She's taken

x

June 9th, 2002 ~ Hip Hip Hooray (x3)

Mon, 10 Jun 2002 04:17:07 GMT

Mmm. The smell of the barbeques from all the neighbours’ backyards, the children running rampant through the streets on a Sunday afternoon, me sipping daquiries on the deck in my backyard.... The only thing wrong with the picture was the big fat textbook that lay in front of me. I cannot wait until my pending exam is over and done with...then I will finally be caught up and can afford some leisure time minus the looming of the multiple-weeks-worth of reading I am short on.

Just received word that Fiona Apple is heading back into the studio. Three cheers are in order. Hip hip hooray! (x3)

xox

June 8th, 2002 ~ Day Off

Sun, 09 Jun 2002 18:53:07 GMT

I am taking an official day off from writing in this journal.

June 7th, 2002 ~ A Bit of Bush Humour

Sat, 08 Jun 2002 01:49:05 GMT

The doc and an old man were discussing Bush's health care reform ideas in a holler down in Mingo County. The old man says, "Well, ya know, that ol' Bush.... (long pause) .... He's just a post turtle".

So, not knowing what he meant the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was.

And the old man says in a slow drawl, "Well.....(long pause) .... when yer a'drivin' down a c'ntry road, and you come acrost a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, well.... that's a post turtle. Ya know he didn't get there by himself, as any fool can plainly see. He don't belong there..... He can't get anything done while he's up there...... And ya just wanna help the poor thing down."

x

June 6th, 2002 ~ Cheers to the unhealthy diet

Fri, 07 Jun 2002 21:34:13 GMT

First thing’s first: Cheers to the unhealthy diet. It’s wickedly delicious. Oh, why must I be cursed with a sweet tooth?

Second thing’s second: The Doves have a new CD out, as does Eminem. I’m itching to get my hands on both!

Alright, now how long have those Herbal Essence commercials been on the air? The ones where the girls crave an “organic” experience and proceed to get their hair washed by next-to-naked males in random places whilst making ecstatic noises? I just figured out today that the concept is a kind of a pun on an orgasmic experience. "Organic"/"Orgasmic" – get it? Hence the moans and the men. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it took me that many years to figure it out. Quite the stupid girl we have on our hands here!

xox

June 5th, 2002 ~ GIVE ME MY CHOCOLATE BAR!!!

Thu, 06 Jun 2002 02:09:27 GMT

Oh, the perils of being a woman. Be warned: Tis best to stay WELL AWAY from me today.

God damn candy machine wouldn't give me my chocolate fix! I already have no money as it is, but now the candy machine just eats up two more fucking dollars of mine and doesn't give me my chocolate bar!!! Those smug, clever candy-machine-making bastards. I bet they did this on purpose.

I was then late for class because I had been busy pounding on the machine and cursing whilst my hands turned a shade of black or blue from banging them against that GOD DAMNED CANDY MACHINE!!!